Archive for the ‘holidays’ Category

The Text Message runaround

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

A I write this post, I’m starting to think that the blogs here are starting to resemble some sort of failed romance attempt on multiple levels, but it’s hard to rid one of something like what I am about to write. I’m also going to give this topic a poll and see what you guys think about my situation. So to get into this story, I have to venture back to November of 2011.

Know those situations when fate decides to tempt you and you meet someone directly by chance? This is exactly what happened, I had a friend, who sent me a picture of himself for his birthday, it wasn’t a dirty picture, in fact it was. Fun one of him holding up a present, and he accidentally sent it to a group of people, and my response was sent out as well. It was during one of these responses that I got to meet this new guy, who was intrigued by my lifestyle and my performing nature. We hit it off via texting very well and he went as far as adding ME on Facebook.

After texting for what was about a month, we finally met. He invited me over to his place for dinner and a massage. He told mere was going to star in a play rendition of the Wizard of Oz. and everything seemed nice. He listened and seemed very interested in my stories and in my lifestyle and I thought I had found what I was looking for, but I was cautious. I turn, we ended up sleeping and cuddling together (and got a little bit of hand action too) but in the morning, I said my byes and drove back home.

I had continued to text him and we continued to make plans to hang out. And on one occasion, I even went to see him after spending 20 bucks to see his play. I shook his hand afterwards and after that night I had made my way home. He then sent me a text. Thanking me for coming and he would love to hang out with me after his play had finished its run. I had agreed.

Christmas came and went and since the play I had received nothing. It was the runaround from this guy soon afterwards.

ME: hey its karaoke time on Saturday wanna come?
HIM : no I got a Disneyland trip coming I’ll be gone for a few days.

Another instance:

ME: i got nothing better to do, I’m going into town wanna grab a coffee or something?
HIM: I got plans, some of my friends are coming over for lunch.

Another instance:

ME: hey, my birthday is coming up! I saw that you are a fan of bowling! I’ve never been bowling,would you care to teach me for my birthday

no answer came

Another instance:

ME: happy new years!
no answer came

Another instance:

ME: did you have a good new years party?
HIM: yep, u?
ME: yes it was ok. I got to play monopoly with my kid sister. I have a millennium edition set I got back in 1998. Gets me through every new years. It’s a beautiful set, yeah I know I’m a nerd. My birthday is coming up soon though! Would you like to teach me as a gift?

no answer came

I was starting to get fed up with this behaviors so I decided to push him a little bit a few days later.

ME: wanna come to karaoke on Saturday night or next saturday night?

HIM: hi 🙂 I’ll need to check. I’m kinda seeing someone (someone from my past) and will need to check with schedules.

ME: ok. Because I wanted to see if you were down for karaoke.

HIM: I don’t but it’s fun to watch. Karaoke had never been my thing…I’m like the only theatre guy I know that doesn’t.

ME: yeah. Which is why it would be cool to have you come watch, you wouldn’t have to sing. It’s cheap bar though. I would be awesome if you could. For me?

HIM: I’m not drinking 😦 new years res

ME: lol well you could come for the support. I only drink cokes there. You make good company. Lol and you seem cool which is why I’m inviting you. To see how I shake up a conservative town…witness the magic.

HIM: 🙂

ME: so it would be cool to have you come. I turn it theatrical. Let’s plan it. Look over your schedule I took time to see your play, which rocked! Now you could see me in my element (sorta)

HIM: oh,ok…

ME: lol. My actual element is my burlesque show. I king of that castle. But that’s not until a few months into the year. So for now, this has to do. I bring outfits either way.

HIM: so I’m not sure if I like that last text about you taking time to come see my play. Kinda rubbed me the wrong way

ME: oh I didn’t mean it like that. I meant to say it another way. I didn’t mean to make it sound like a snuff or anything like a trade for trade. Sorry about that one. I just thought it would be cool to have the guy who played ________ come see me perform.

HIM: it’s cool… I know tone and text don’t go hand in hand.

ME: It would be honoring actually to see you up here. Lol I know right anyway, I’m going to work now. Karaoke is every wends and Saturday. I have 2 weeks to get it out of my system before I get back to LA to shoot the videos. I’m guessing Saturdays work best for you because of school nights. So there’s this Saturday and next Saturday. Let me know when you could make it before I leave.

HIM: cool, chat soon 🙂

Thats where I left it. Sounds like he will be a no show to this party, and the fact that he is seeing another guy doesn’t even bother me, it’s the fact that I feel professionally snubbed that bothers me. Am I wrong here? Do I have a right to ask him for that at least? Is it wrong to want that?

I do remember him saying that he wasn’t the relationship type of guy. So yeah, that also caught me by surprise but there was also a text last week where he mentioned going on a dinner date (another snub). I’m moving on from this guy. But not before I called his good friend, the one who introduced me to him accidentally via picture message…..

And what his friend told me, was basically the same story I told him, he goes on these on and off again chases where he doesn’t know what he wants. And he gave me some wise words and we both opened up about this guy and what we felt towards him, we both admitted that we did in fact start to fall for him, and stuff. And that this new guy he’s seeing isn’t in fact someone his past, it’s someone new who is about to go on and continue his cycle of churning out guys.

He has a good heart, but doesn’t know he hurts people like this. Funny thing is, I was having dreams of him being a serial killer and ended up killing me in my dream. Maybe an ode to things that came to this? Who knows. But. Friend did give me a comforting word of advice

You never know what you want until you hit rock bottom…

So true.

Sound off in comments with your thoughts.


Attack of the Superficial Gay Guy

Tuesday, December 27th, 2011

Christmas day, I was spending it with my dad and my sister and our stepmom. Everything was going great that day, my dad got his cycling bike, his golf kit and I got a lot of home decor stuff and some trinket for my iPad. We had thanksgiving dinner and everything was alright.

It wasn’t until later that night when this story took place:

It was somewhere between talking about the iPhone 4S and watching how the Grinch stole Christmas was when I received that message on Facebook. Do you ever have those moments when you think to yourself how people live in certain parts of the city and how they have their stereotypical “weho” gay guys this is one of them.

West Hollywood is full of the most superficial gay guys you’ll ever come across. They have chiseled perfect bodies.
They have amazing asses.
They have amazing jawbone structures.
They have a 32 pack given it was physically possible for them to have that.

And it breeds the most superficial fags in the entire world. One wrong look their way and you’re guaranteed a gay death in an instant for ever be banishing you from the world of the gays in Hollywood. Now I realize I don’t have that god like body , and I realize that I can enjoy a good hamburger every so often, and I know that I do not weigh 40 pounds, and I know that I don’t have an ass, but still I managed to have dignity. If you’re able to rock these guys worlds by showing 1 inch of breaking the cookie-cutter mold, they go ape sh*t …guaranteed.

I have a really good friend who granted, was supposedly going to date one of my other supposedly good friend (and I don’t know what good friends are in West Hollywood if you’re only met this person once your whole life). And that’s when the story begins.

I was watching that scene in How The Grinch Stole Christmas (where the Grinch is up on the mountain with the sleigh and is getting ready to push it over the mountain when he hears the people in whoville start to sing) when I open a Facebook and I find the strangest message:


I was shocked! Absolutely shocked at what I had just read. in my mind I must’ve read it five or six times when it finally hit me I am talking to a superficial guy of course. And a vengeful one at that. Hell hath no fury like a fag scorned. And OOHHHH boy this is so true especially when he comments kept coming…


One thing that a lot of the gays in weho don’t know how to do is fight. And especially, if you’ve been growing up in the woods of some back assed town roping pigs and cows, then you know how to really…really…..REALLY slap a bitch. Unfortunately for me, he was in palm springs at the time. If he had said this to my face, I would’ve lost it and maybe even taken a jab with a few words of honesty about his little pudgy sack of 2 percent body fat he. Was growing under his chin.


You can make fun of a guy guys weight, his way of speaking, his queen attitude, and all sorts of definitions for calling him a slut. But you must never, ever insult his double chin. Many honorable and unnamed fag hags have died over this fatal mistake.


The insults kept coming and I didn’t know how to respond. Well, I actually did hold my ground because I think I’m not terribly bad looking. I have a very positive outlook on life and I actually believe that there is more to life than looks. People spend so much time fixated, not just the gays, but everyone, on looks, on skin. We spend most of the time looking at something that rots in the end. We spend our time looking at something that is constantly changing. The physical always changes, like a fluid, passing through a penis, faster than a bitch can blink.


Anyway, a personality is much more stable and much more consistent than the body, because believe it or not my fellow gays, your partner, over time, won’t care about your looks, what he has to tolerate will be your queen attitude. Your demanding and perfectionist attitude that won’t allow you to eat more than a leaf of lettuce once a week. I myself like a guy that actually enjoys life, and isn’t a slave to his body. I know that there are plenty of attractive people who actually don’t go to the gym 6 days a week, 8 hours a day and eat only lettuce on that 7th day of rest. amen…right?

For example, I like my men to be, let’s not beat around the bush here, but I would for sure hop the bones of a Burberry model any given day, but I’m realistic. I can get a good looking guy for a one night fling, but so can everyone else. I want a stable relationship, and that to me, won’t happen if the personality is that of a cold pile of crap. I want someone that can light up my life like a juju berry (for those of the Zelda persuasion).

I want someone average that can surprise moe daily with kind gestures and feelings. There is no such thing as setting the bar to low in this situation. I’m expecting the least from someone, and allowing them to show me what they got. I’m not judgmental by doing this, I’m not being superficial about this, I’m just letting it happen as it comes. By expecting nothing, I will not be let down.

We can all have otherworldly expectations for the people we meet, and most of the time it’s those expectations, especially in that world of the godly bodied ” we hoes “, is a setup for a huge letdown.

Luckily the guys I’ve met have been attractive, not in the weho type of way either. They all have had personality and I’ve been touched (in more ways than one) by there actions and kindness towards me. I must be doing something right.

I know I don’t have the weho look, I’m far from it. And I’m proud, why?

Because I’m not insecure about my looks.
I’m not competing for attention.
I’m not vain (much)
I’m not heartless.
I don’t play games.

Yeah, I’m not like the weho guys.

Thank god.


I’m feeling like Edna.

Monday, December 19th, 2011

absolutely fabulous returns

What occurs to you during the holiday season? or Seasons Greetings

Monday, December 19th, 2011


As I get older I am realizing that the holiday season isn’t really one of holiday cheer, but more as a holiday chore. As a young boy, I used to excitedly await for the grand return of Santa Claus every year to deliver presents under my tree. As I got older and and wiser, Xmas started having a certain depressing quality to it,not for me in general, but I have been starting to see people get depressed more and more this season.

I also realized that’s it has, indeed, started to take over my own spirit. I’m finding yell. Oe depressed, not in that sad I’m gonna kill myself sort of way, but more of a holy crap I don’t have time to buy presents or spend time with some friends way.

I’m that single guy who doesn’t get invited to holiday parties. And that sucks. But why?

I certainly am not Scroogey by all means. I’m actually, quite pleasant actually. Sure, I might be an attention whore at times,but that’s my nature, I like to be wanted because I would likely feel that ore often, apart from family. Then I realized, for the holidays, people get very sexist or selective about their party guests. I fall into the category of

    Don’t invite him…he’s the single guy

      Therefore, I’m a cause, or a portal to people feeling depressed at party even if I’m not the one being depressed, people have some mindset to that being single is a depressing thing.

    I can’t show my face to a holiday Singles Party either. Why? Have you seen the people who go to those parties. They’re people who got setup to be there by friends, or tricked, or there’s those who actually, don’t know why they’re there in the first place. These are the excuses. Nobody ever actually admits they want to be there. These days, it might even be laughable if your friends find out about that, and it might even feel as dumb as or desperate as online dating.

    Dare we even mention worse that Grindr dating? For me, it’s worse… My friends think I’m whorery in general and I would just be looking to sleep and hook up with everyone at the party. Well, maybe…
    But I do have my morals and rules.

    Basically, I don’t see much social action during the holidays that I really crave. I want to interact with people without having to spend my own valuable time planning and throwing my own holiday party though I will admit, and my friends can vouch for me that’s throw some mean parties.

    What I’m trying to say, is this,Santa if your listening to me reading this blog by mistake, then know that I want companionship for the holiday season. Some friend who will want to be there and drink with me and laugh. Because being alone for the holidays is the worst feeling you can have and nobody should ever be alone during this time.

    Here’s a little article I found for those who want to help


    Dear Christine,
    This year I’m not able to afford to fly back and spend the holidays with my family, so I am facing my first holiday alone. The way I’m dealing with it is that I’m not getting too excited or invested in the holiday season. I just can’t wait for it to be over. I know I’m an adult now, but I just feel like a kid who wants to be home for Christmas. How should I deal with this?
    ~ Holiday Blues, 24, New York

    Dear Holiday Blues,

    Not being with the people you love during the holidays is difficult, and I am sorry you will not be with your family this year. The holidays are about good will and cheer, yet they do bring on a swirl of emotions about the previous year, and being away from family doesn’t help. No matter what age you are, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to bring back the magic of being a kid at Christmas. Being an adult means many things, but it doesn’t mean you have to have a stiff upper-lip when it comes to a holiday away from family. One way to counteract this and rekindle your Christmas spirit is by spending time with those people who are less fortunate.

    There are countless opportunities to volunteer and be with other people on Christmas. Just Google “volunteer on Christmas Day” brings up a variety of ways to be of service. The site offers opportunities within your zip code. You can also call your local hospital and inquire about ways to spread Holiday cheer to sick children or patients who have to spend the holidays in a hospital bed.

    Giving your time to someone who will really cherish it is the best gift of all. Isn’t that what Christmas is about anyway? And after you spend some time being of service, it will be wonderful to call your family and share with them how you transformed being alone at Christmas to bringing a little Christmas into some needy hearts. Moreover, you will really see that giving is the ultimate form of receiving.

    Also, don’t be bashful about telling your friends you are homesick and not able to be with your family! I can recall a few times I found out a friend was alone for the holidays and my first reaction was always, “Why didn’t you tell me? You could have spent Christmas with my family.” People are usually very open with invitations this time of year. Not only is it in the spirit of Christmas, but most people love the idea of having a friend as a “buffer” at family gatherings!

    It really is easy to start spinning in your mind that you are alone when not in the usual company of family and friends at home for the holidays. It’s important to remember that while you may not physically be there, you are far from being alone. Call your family and friends (maybe they would split investing in an affordable webcams so you can Skype each other), get out to volunteer, and see if there are friends in your city to spend time with. Especially with the economic crunch we are in, you may be surprised by the number of people you know in the same boat.

    Most importantly, don’t let the image of what a holiday “should” be dictate your feelings. This time of year is filled with movies and advertisements that oversell this time of year promote false expectations. Focus on what this season is really about: love and gratitude – not presents and parties. You can still fill yourself with the same feelings of love, friendship, and compassion that are at the core of the holiday season if you just look.

    – Christine

On Disturbing XXXmas Candy

Monday, December 19th, 2011

Yesterday, I came across this strange little Xmas candy keychain. Brings new meaning to the term

“Pushing Your Buttons”

This subliminally haunting little toy was found and purchased at BIGLOTS!. I was able to encounter two variations, the one pictured, Frosty the snowman, and the other was poor old Santa Claus. But this toy packs an even better surprise!

When you push it’s perverted button, the head begins to spin furiously, in the tradition of Linda Blair in her Epic performance for “The Exorcist”. The head stops spinning when you push it’s buttons. One of my friends referred to it as ” bringing new meaning to the Pillsbury Doughboy”. Lol!!!

I love these crazy little Pervy things. And I’m sure it will stimulate many young little boys subliminally this holiday season. Get yours today at your local BIGLOTS! $1.00

Naturally I had to make this into my keychain or rear view mirror ornament.