Archive for the ‘christmas’ Category

I’m feeling like Edna.

Monday, December 19th, 2011

absolutely fabulous returns


What occurs to you during the holiday season? or Seasons Greetings

Monday, December 19th, 2011


As I get older I am realizing that the holiday season isn’t really one of holiday cheer, but more as a holiday chore. As a young boy, I used to excitedly await for the grand return of Santa Claus every year to deliver presents under my tree. As I got older and and wiser, Xmas started having a certain depressing quality to it,not for me in general, but I have been starting to see people get depressed more and more this season.

I also realized that’s it has, indeed, started to take over my own spirit. I’m finding yell. Oe depressed, not in that sad I’m gonna kill myself sort of way, but more of a holy crap I don’t have time to buy presents or spend time with some friends way.

I’m that single guy who doesn’t get invited to holiday parties. And that sucks. But why?

I certainly am not Scroogey by all means. I’m actually, quite pleasant actually. Sure, I might be an attention whore at times,but that’s my nature, I like to be wanted because I would likely feel that ore often, apart from family. Then I realized, for the holidays, people get very sexist or selective about their party guests. I fall into the category of

    Don’t invite him…he’s the single guy

      Therefore, I’m a cause, or a portal to people feeling depressed at party even if I’m not the one being depressed, people have some mindset to that being single is a depressing thing.

    I can’t show my face to a holiday Singles Party either. Why? Have you seen the people who go to those parties. They’re people who got setup to be there by friends, or tricked, or there’s those who actually, don’t know why they’re there in the first place. These are the excuses. Nobody ever actually admits they want to be there. These days, it might even be laughable if your friends find out about that, and it might even feel as dumb as or desperate as online dating.

    Dare we even mention worse that Grindr dating? For me, it’s worse… My friends think I’m whorery in general and I would just be looking to sleep and hook up with everyone at the party. Well, maybe…
    But I do have my morals and rules.

    Basically, I don’t see much social action during the holidays that I really crave. I want to interact with people without having to spend my own valuable time planning and throwing my own holiday party though I will admit, and my friends can vouch for me that’s throw some mean parties.

    What I’m trying to say, is this,Santa if your listening to me reading this blog by mistake, then know that I want companionship for the holiday season. Some friend who will want to be there and drink with me and laugh. Because being alone for the holidays is the worst feeling you can have and nobody should ever be alone during this time.

    Here’s a little article I found for those who want to help


    Dear Christine,
    This year I’m not able to afford to fly back and spend the holidays with my family, so I am facing my first holiday alone. The way I’m dealing with it is that I’m not getting too excited or invested in the holiday season. I just can’t wait for it to be over. I know I’m an adult now, but I just feel like a kid who wants to be home for Christmas. How should I deal with this?
    ~ Holiday Blues, 24, New York

    Dear Holiday Blues,

    Not being with the people you love during the holidays is difficult, and I am sorry you will not be with your family this year. The holidays are about good will and cheer, yet they do bring on a swirl of emotions about the previous year, and being away from family doesn’t help. No matter what age you are, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to bring back the magic of being a kid at Christmas. Being an adult means many things, but it doesn’t mean you have to have a stiff upper-lip when it comes to a holiday away from family. One way to counteract this and rekindle your Christmas spirit is by spending time with those people who are less fortunate.

    There are countless opportunities to volunteer and be with other people on Christmas. Just Google “volunteer on Christmas Day” brings up a variety of ways to be of service. The site offers opportunities within your zip code. You can also call your local hospital and inquire about ways to spread Holiday cheer to sick children or patients who have to spend the holidays in a hospital bed.

    Giving your time to someone who will really cherish it is the best gift of all. Isn’t that what Christmas is about anyway? And after you spend some time being of service, it will be wonderful to call your family and share with them how you transformed being alone at Christmas to bringing a little Christmas into some needy hearts. Moreover, you will really see that giving is the ultimate form of receiving.

    Also, don’t be bashful about telling your friends you are homesick and not able to be with your family! I can recall a few times I found out a friend was alone for the holidays and my first reaction was always, “Why didn’t you tell me? You could have spent Christmas with my family.” People are usually very open with invitations this time of year. Not only is it in the spirit of Christmas, but most people love the idea of having a friend as a “buffer” at family gatherings!

    It really is easy to start spinning in your mind that you are alone when not in the usual company of family and friends at home for the holidays. It’s important to remember that while you may not physically be there, you are far from being alone. Call your family and friends (maybe they would split investing in an affordable webcams so you can Skype each other), get out to volunteer, and see if there are friends in your city to spend time with. Especially with the economic crunch we are in, you may be surprised by the number of people you know in the same boat.

    Most importantly, don’t let the image of what a holiday “should” be dictate your feelings. This time of year is filled with movies and advertisements that oversell this time of year promote false expectations. Focus on what this season is really about: love and gratitude – not presents and parties. You can still fill yourself with the same feelings of love, friendship, and compassion that are at the core of the holiday season if you just look.

    – Christine

On Disturbing XXXmas Candy

Monday, December 19th, 2011

Yesterday, I came across this strange little Xmas candy keychain. Brings new meaning to the term

“Pushing Your Buttons”

This subliminally haunting little toy was found and purchased at BIGLOTS!. I was able to encounter two variations, the one pictured, Frosty the snowman, and the other was poor old Santa Claus. But this toy packs an even better surprise!

When you push it’s perverted button, the head begins to spin furiously, in the tradition of Linda Blair in her Epic performance for “The Exorcist”. The head stops spinning when you push it’s buttons. One of my friends referred to it as ” bringing new meaning to the Pillsbury Doughboy”. Lol!!!

I love these crazy little Pervy things. And I’m sure it will stimulate many young little boys subliminally this holiday season. Get yours today at your local BIGLOTS! $1.00

Naturally I had to make this into my keychain or rear view mirror ornament.