Archive for January, 2012

The Text Message runaround

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

A I write this post, I’m starting to think that the blogs here are starting to resemble some sort of failed romance attempt on multiple levels, but it’s hard to rid one of something like what I am about to write. I’m also going to give this topic a poll and see what you guys think about my situation. So to get into this story, I have to venture back to November of 2011.

Know those situations when fate decides to tempt you and you meet someone directly by chance? This is exactly what happened, I had a friend, who sent me a picture of himself for his birthday, it wasn’t a dirty picture, in fact it was. Fun one of him holding up a present, and he accidentally sent it to a group of people, and my response was sent out as well. It was during one of these responses that I got to meet this new guy, who was intrigued by my lifestyle and my performing nature. We hit it off via texting very well and he went as far as adding ME on Facebook.

After texting for what was about a month, we finally met. He invited me over to his place for dinner and a massage. He told mere was going to star in a play rendition of the Wizard of Oz. and everything seemed nice. He listened and seemed very interested in my stories and in my lifestyle and I thought I had found what I was looking for, but I was cautious. I turn, we ended up sleeping and cuddling together (and got a little bit of hand action too) but in the morning, I said my byes and drove back home.

I had continued to text him and we continued to make plans to hang out. And on one occasion, I even went to see him after spending 20 bucks to see his play. I shook his hand afterwards and after that night I had made my way home. He then sent me a text. Thanking me for coming and he would love to hang out with me after his play had finished its run. I had agreed.

Christmas came and went and since the play I had received nothing. It was the runaround from this guy soon afterwards.

ME: hey its karaoke time on Saturday wanna come?
HIM : no I got a Disneyland trip coming I’ll be gone for a few days.

Another instance:

ME: i got nothing better to do, I’m going into town wanna grab a coffee or something?
HIM: I got plans, some of my friends are coming over for lunch.

Another instance:

ME: hey, my birthday is coming up! I saw that you are a fan of bowling! I’ve never been bowling,would you care to teach me for my birthday

no answer came

Another instance:

ME: happy new years!
no answer came

Another instance:

ME: did you have a good new years party?
HIM: yep, u?
ME: yes it was ok. I got to play monopoly with my kid sister. I have a millennium edition set I got back in 1998. Gets me through every new years. It’s a beautiful set, yeah I know I’m a nerd. My birthday is coming up soon though! Would you like to teach me as a gift?

no answer came

I was starting to get fed up with this behaviors so I decided to push him a little bit a few days later.

ME: wanna come to karaoke on Saturday night or next saturday night?

HIM: hi 🙂 I’ll need to check. I’m kinda seeing someone (someone from my past) and will need to check with schedules.

ME: ok. Because I wanted to see if you were down for karaoke.

HIM: I don’t but it’s fun to watch. Karaoke had never been my thing…I’m like the only theatre guy I know that doesn’t.

ME: yeah. Which is why it would be cool to have you come watch, you wouldn’t have to sing. It’s cheap bar though. I would be awesome if you could. For me?

HIM: I’m not drinking 😦 new years res

ME: lol well you could come for the support. I only drink cokes there. You make good company. Lol and you seem cool which is why I’m inviting you. To see how I shake up a conservative town…witness the magic.

HIM: 🙂

ME: so it would be cool to have you come. I turn it theatrical. Let’s plan it. Look over your schedule I took time to see your play, which rocked! Now you could see me in my element (sorta)

HIM: oh,ok…

ME: lol. My actual element is my burlesque show. I king of that castle. But that’s not until a few months into the year. So for now, this has to do. I bring outfits either way.

HIM: so I’m not sure if I like that last text about you taking time to come see my play. Kinda rubbed me the wrong way

ME: oh I didn’t mean it like that. I meant to say it another way. I didn’t mean to make it sound like a snuff or anything like a trade for trade. Sorry about that one. I just thought it would be cool to have the guy who played ________ come see me perform.

HIM: it’s cool… I know tone and text don’t go hand in hand.

ME: It would be honoring actually to see you up here. Lol I know right anyway, I’m going to work now. Karaoke is every wends and Saturday. I have 2 weeks to get it out of my system before I get back to LA to shoot the videos. I’m guessing Saturdays work best for you because of school nights. So there’s this Saturday and next Saturday. Let me know when you could make it before I leave.

HIM: cool, chat soon 🙂

Thats where I left it. Sounds like he will be a no show to this party, and the fact that he is seeing another guy doesn’t even bother me, it’s the fact that I feel professionally snubbed that bothers me. Am I wrong here? Do I have a right to ask him for that at least? Is it wrong to want that?

I do remember him saying that he wasn’t the relationship type of guy. So yeah, that also caught me by surprise but there was also a text last week where he mentioned going on a dinner date (another snub). I’m moving on from this guy. But not before I called his good friend, the one who introduced me to him accidentally via picture message…..

And what his friend told me, was basically the same story I told him, he goes on these on and off again chases where he doesn’t know what he wants. And he gave me some wise words and we both opened up about this guy and what we felt towards him, we both admitted that we did in fact start to fall for him, and stuff. And that this new guy he’s seeing isn’t in fact someone his past, it’s someone new who is about to go on and continue his cycle of churning out guys.

He has a good heart, but doesn’t know he hurts people like this. Funny thing is, I was having dreams of him being a serial killer and ended up killing me in my dream. Maybe an ode to things that came to this? Who knows. But. Friend did give me a comforting word of advice

You never know what you want until you hit rock bottom…

So true.

Sound off in comments with your thoughts.


A love note to all the Ryans in the world

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

I fucking have a knack for finding the weird Ryan’s of the world. I know that all of the Ryan’s aren’t like this but once again, it’s me we are talking about, and I happen to attract the weird ones.

The first experience I had with a Ryan was with some guy I went to school with. Since 7th grade I was sure this kid liked me. And not in that best friend in high school sort of way. He actually tried getting into my pants while at school and on the school bus. Needless to say this guy was but ugly and a super nerd. I gently refused his offer and extended my hand as an offering of friendship instead. He would continue to deny me a friendship and continued to persue me, and I continued to turn him down. After a few rounds of this he then began circulating rumors. Small ones at first, then bigger and bigger and he would tell kids that I slept with him and that I was a nasty dirty hoe in bed. (that part he did get right). So this continued until graduation. I just shook it off.

My next experience with the demon named Ryan came in the form of a former BF:

This person I was with was caring and loved me. We did have sex, numerous times and we built a trust and eventually had sex without condoms. Everything was perfect. This person was older, now 33. And was on a cane due to back issues. I overlooked that because I was in love. I would visit often, with gifts. I introduced him to my sister and my good friends.

And this poor sap uses his grandfathers death to break up with me. I didn’t know we where finished at this point, but all communication had stopped for almost a month.
I finally gave him an ultimatum through the phone. And I get a text that says that he found someone else. And I just didn’t fit into his life. He should’ve told me this sooner so I wouldn’t have made a fool of myself. He eventually came to tell me that I bothered him with my visits and that we where never seeing each other.

I moved on. I don’t need someone like that in my life. I’ve got someone else now. Someone who really has an interest in me and someone who wants to spend the time to get to know me for who I am as a person. And is not a wreched tool like he was. I did love him. It hurts, but I’m better off without him.

I never liked your prissy high class musical tastes anyway. Prick. I hope you have time being with your “court” and your faggy ways. I hope that because of your actions your “Gay Duke” status gets taken away. And then your sorry ass gets dumped. Just like you did to me. Karma is a bitch man, and she’s got her eye on you.

I thought I was rid of the Ryan’s of the world until a few years later down the line flash forward to 2010. I met on Adam4adam a so called Ryan. Ryan was a cool guy that lived in LA, a few miles from me (about 5) in LA 5 miles is basically, a one hour drive in the city, but I endured it and met this Ryan.

Behold, the perfect sign of a bad hookup was apperant the second I saw him. This Ryan was Palestinian, and pissed. (and a raging alcoholic) he lived in a back refurnished room in the garage, and listened to led zeppelin and all sorts of classic rock jams. He was smart, good looking, and always drunk, so at least he would know how to fuck right?!

Everything was awesome. The way he spoke German to me was flawless and his knowledge of LA was astounding. I was hooked! Not to mention he had a huge boner heart. But the interesting thing about him was his ability to only get off and become hard when he started to choke me, pretty damn hard. And then he proceeded to give me the look of death and I was sure that in the morning, they were going to find my filleted body in a ditch black dahlia style. Needless to say. I was stupid enough to go back for more…

I know, I was askin for it. I would finish my day from work and I would text him about coming over at least 2 times a week, I wasn’t looking for a BF, just a constant FB. I had found it in this guy. He was attractive, but angry at the works for some reason and I could never pin point it as to what exactly. But I was getting a rush testing the waters of Ryan. I had only 5 sexual encounters with this guy, and they were good, but it was the fact that he was very rough with me that prohibited me from returning on a more constant basis. Also, he would really like my hair and made me well aware at how good it was. Be was testy, and mean and wished death to everyone.

But I thought it was hot.

Hmm… Come to think about it, Ryan’s aren’t really that bad………..

I need to get me another Ryan real soon….